is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
