hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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