my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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