that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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