I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
