im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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