benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
