remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
