He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
