You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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