I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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