this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the day after is always just damage control
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
whose ass print is on the piano?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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