We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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