i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
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He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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