Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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