Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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