he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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