My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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