I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
