The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
