roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
