her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
