it wasn't lemon gatorade
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!