he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander