Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'