Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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