Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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