I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
