I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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