Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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