he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
