For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
