Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
