Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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