at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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