since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
