note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize