so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
