Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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