So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
