We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
