Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list

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(402): View more from Nebraska

The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?

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(209): View more from California

You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant

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(410): View more from Maryland

I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk

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(785): View more from Kansas

if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter

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