why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
