I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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