I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
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sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
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I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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