she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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