5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
