I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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