bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
