my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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