Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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