eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
