Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
