Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You took a bar mat shot.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
