belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I need water and some morals
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
