i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
