i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
