Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
