Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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