he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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