I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Those nachos came to me in a dream
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I have post one night stand depression
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
