Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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