I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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